Open-eye nap can help you, Mr. Vice President

Next time, try my patented Open-eye nap, Mr. Vice President!

In order to learn my patented Open-eye nap, Mr. Vice President, you will have to first learn and practice PREM(Patel’s Relaxed Eye Muscles) nap for a month or so. Then you can try taking it with your eyes open in a public place!

Imagine you are listening to Mr. President’s dull and long presentation that is not going to help you personally even a tiny bit, not to mention the fact that you have heard it ten times within prior 24 hours, but you just can not get up and leave. Can you nap for five minutes at a time with your eyes open and use these minutes to recharge your executive engine? Why not? Fish sleep with their eyes open. A giraffe sleeps while standing. You can do that, too.  So let us get started.

  • Sit in a comfortable position. Sitting upright is fine. If the situation permits, you can slide down in the chair, too. Make sure the chair does not slide away.
  • Pleasantly focus your eyes on Mr. President. Remember that, when we sleep, our ears are open, and we still sleep well. Here, both your eyes and ears are open. With practice, you can successfully shut off your mind (this should not be difficult for a VP based on whatever little I know about US politics) and relax completely.
  • Take slow, deep breaths and relax from head to toe. Do not worry. You will not fall down. The tone of spinal muscles will hold you in the chair. Maintain this pleasant state of relaxation for five minutes (You can set your iPhone on vibrate to wake you up) to derive maximum benefits from Open-eye nap.

What if others start applauding? Do not worry. You will be able to wake up and join in, just as a sleeping mother ignores everything else but hears and responds to her child’s crying in the next room. You can also enlist the help of a trusted neighbor or, better yet, your team member in coming to your rescue should there be a need for you to applaud or smile. Say, “Please tap my knee or shoulder before you stand up and start clapping. I might be absorbed in some other thoughts.”

Knowing your legal background, Mr. Vice President, you may ask if this has been tried before. And the answer is an unequivocal and enthusiastic YES. My colleagues at Notre Dame University have successfully tried Open-eye napping during our executive MBA classes. So, rest assured. It works. Risks are greater if you don’t try it!

Legal disclaimer; please consult your physician before starting any napping practice. Reading this blog does not form patient-physician relationship.

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Comments

2 Comments so far. Leave a comment below.
  1. Excellent, Dr. Patel! I will not be surprised if you receive a call from Washington DC very soon. You will be teaching “open-eye naps” to all of Capitol Hill!

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